Funny story

[ellanoize]

Sis, We will have you ready for a stand up routine real soon with these jokes...

A married couple was on vacation in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods when they passed this small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You! Foreigners! Come in, come into my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They make you wild at sex."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try them on."
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.

The Jamaican then began screaming; "YOU GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!!!"

[cherrysis]

ROTF Oh yes that is awesome!!!

[ellanoize]

Dorothy and Edna two "senior" widows, are talking at the local coffee shop.

Dorothy: "That nice Joe asked me out for a date . . . I know that you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Edna: "Well . . . I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car . . a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.
Then he takes me out for dinner. . a marvelous dinner - lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show . . . let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me.... two times!"

Dorothy: "Goodness gracious! . . so you are telling me I shouldn't go
out with him?"

Edna: "No, no, no . I'm just saying, wear an old dress."

[Noclouds]

*RORFLMAO*,....problem with me is that I always picture everything ,....Can you imagine the image I am having right now*LOL

[cherrysis]

Now thats what I call FRIENDSHIP!!! [img]wink.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

NoClouds, I'm afraid that I can share your "vision"...Ain't we terrible [img]cool.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

A nun and a priest

A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation was about to die. They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to their rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died.
After several days of not being rescued, they agreed that they were not going to be rescued. They prayed a lot (of course), and they discussed their predicament in great depth.
Finally the priest said to the nun, "You know, Sister, I am about to die, and there's always been one thing I've wanted here on earth to see a woman naked. Would you mind taking off your clothes so I can look at you?"
The nun thought about his request for several seconds and then agreed to take off her clothes. As she was doing so, she remarked, "Well, Father, now that I think about it, I've never seen a man naked, either. Would you mind taking off your clothes, too?"
With little hesitation, the priest also stripped.
Suddenly the nun exclaimed, "Father! What is that little thing hanging between your legs?"
The priest patiently answered, "That, my child, is a gift from God. If I put it in you, it creates a new life."
"Well," responded the nun, "forget about me. Stick it in the camel and lets get the hell out of here!"

[cherrysis]

ROTF!!!!

[Noclouds]

Oh my*LOL

[ellanoize]

Glad I was able to give ya a Friday the 13th giggle.

Have a great Week-end.

roGEr